The Super Bowl of Feasts
By Christian S. Kohl
The Super Bowl represents the lone day of the year where the best tailgate possible may well take place from the comforts of your own home as opposed to right outside the stadium. Ignoring the obvious problems of a difficult commute and wrangling space to tailgate among the droves of people, your on-site tailgate faces a logistical problem that your home tailgate will not: your car almost certainly not contain all the food you should be devouring on this magical day. The biggest day of the year unequivocally demands the biggest feast of the year.
Other major days of the year often involve the hearty consumption of food, such as Thanksgiving. As we all know though, such days often restrict the types of foods and sides you’re expected to prepare and consume. What makes Super Bowl Sunday consumption so glorious is not simply that you can eat all day long, from 3AM pregame coverage to the Lombardi presentation. What makes it the greatest feast day of them all is that there are no rules whatsoever, and absolutely anything goes.
Your spread can last as many courses as you want it to. You can start slow with appetizers like chips and salsa or nachos, working your way up to burgers, pizza, and ultimately dessert. You can barbecue all day and drop plate after plate of ribs, or pulled pork sandwiches on your kitchen tables for guests in one unending course until kickoff, then resume again at halftime. Desserts can be cakes and pies, or cookies and ice cream. Or you can very simply eat 300 wings a man and collapse in a ball midway through the second quarter.
Every player on the field has worked the entire year for this moment; it’s far and away the biggest day of the year. Such commitment requires celebration and food consumption on the part of NFL fans which matches their level of intensity. As a die-hard football fan, this is no doubt the biggest day of your year as well, and you simply cannot leave anything out there on the field. Even a person on a regimented and disciplined diet should break it for this one day. Take one day off from counting calories and count how many feet of the party sub you can ingest in four quarters. If you’re the tailgating chef, use every kitchen and grill resource you’ve got and use every last page of your playbook. You know Brady and Manning are going to air to out, and you absolutely should as well.
Whatever option you opt for, make sure it’s lasting and worthwhile. If there’s one thing everyone has realized about the Super Bowl, it’s that the Super Bowl is as much an event as it is a game. So as you assemble that menu for yourself, friends and guests, wherever in the world you might be, remember to make it an event everyone will remember for years to come. Tailgating champions don’t simply show up on Game Day. They prepare, and put in the work. Become that tailgating champion, at the game or at home. Harness the skills you’ve been developing all year, maximize your potential, and eat literally all that you can stomach.
Christian S. Kohl is a writer and filmmaker based in New York City. Find out more about him at DailySpew.com.