Today, we find out that Dave hasn’t smoked for three days because he’s been sick. We also find out that he doesn’t want to play with his dad at his golf tournament this weekend. Don then gives us some bad news: Janet’s twin sister, Kris, passed away in her sleep two nights ago. Don and Janet found out while in L.A. yesterday, and Don tells us that Janet is very grateful for the outpouring of well wishers who have tweeted with thoughts and prayers for her and her family in this terrible time. Don then tells us a couple funny stories from his trip to L.A., including the guy on the plane who wouldn’t shut up, and the kid who got ketchup all over Don’s head and white shirt. Dave then begins to tell his story about going to the doctor about his flu, and when Little Joe gives a sarcastic hand gesture, the two of them get into a hilarious crap slinging contest!
After talking about how stoked he is for the Super Bowl this Sunday, Don tells us that not only are our ratings still going up, but we are now #2 in the market!! Dave then finally gets through his trip to the doctor story, and then tells us about how a bug flew into his mom’s nose while driving, causing her to hit a parked car. We also hear a few clips from the Super Bowl’s media circus, including Madonna’s pressd conference, and Jay Mohr imitating Christopher Walken and Harvey Keitel. We then hear a clip of Ellen Degeneres and Michelle Obama having a push up contest, and a clip of high school kids not knowing how many stars are on the U.S. flag.
We then get a visit from the Legendary Wayne Newton! Wayne, who will be performing at Cach Creek tomorrow night, talks about turning his home into a museum, Jack Benny and Jackie Gleason helping him out along the way, and learning karate when he was a kid so he could beat up his brother. He even does an intro for the “Phantom News Hour!” After Wayne leaves, Don tries to figure out who to take to the show with him tomorrow, and the guys offer suggestions. We then find out that Kim Kardashian is banging Mark Sanchez, and is fighting with Kris Humphries over their wedding gifts.
It’s then time for another visit from ex-NFL great Conrad Dobler. Conrad tells us how he doesn’t like the way the game has changed, his battles with Merlin Olson, how much simpler the play calls were back then, and which quarterback in the Super Bowl he would be most comfortable blocking for. Don then tells us about a high school in LeRoy, NY where the kids are developing “Tourette’s like symptoms,” and the guys talk about how funny it would be to have Tourette’s Syndrome.
It’s then time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Today, Phantom talks about Madonna’s halftime performance, how people are more at risk of getting bladder infections during the Super Bowl, Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part 2” being banned from NFL games, and Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl working on a new TV show on FX. And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!