By Mikhail Chernyavsky

Arguably, the number one attraction at the California State Fair each year is the new foods that are introduced.

And, healthy isn’t what you look for in these foods. The fair is like Thanksgiving; it’s the cheat day in your diet, so let the consumption of fried foods begin.

Now, cheating shouldn’t mean over consumption. It’s about moderation.

The calories range from 150 to 1000, depending on the order, says Sweet Cheeks owner Jacquie Bradbury.

Here are some of the new and dangerously delicious foods that are sure to make you add some extra workouts at the gym.

Not everything is included, because I am only one man, my body can only try a limited amount of these foods before my heart has a minor episode in coronary disease.

Make sure to download our map before you head out to the fair to easily find these regrettable tasty treats.

Vendor: Joe’s Cheese Works
Food: Deep-Fried Grilled Cheese
Cost: $4.75 + Tax
Taste: It’s exactly what you’d expect it to be, a grilled cheese that has been thrown into a deep fryer. It may not be anything fancy or have a surprising taste, but this minor twist is exactly the thrill your taste buds have been looking for in this classic, (and now even more) bowel-blocking sandwich.

Vendor: Grandma Herzberg’s German Sausage Stand
Food: Pork Chop On A Stick
Cost: $6.00 + Tax
Taste: Like the grilled cheese, it’s nothing special. The only thing that really makes it a fair food is that it’s on a stick.

Food: Deep-Fried Mac and Cheese
Cost: $5.00 + Tax
Taste: It’s another cheesy classic that has been deep fried. Covered in a deep-fried batter, this fat hugger is sure to bring back some childhood memories of a yellow dinosaur with a carney charm.

Vendor: Beignets Stand
Food: Beignets
Cost: $5.00 – $6.00 Tax Included
Taste: Also know as an English fritter, this New Orleans style dessert tastes like a doughnut, and can be toped with fruits, powdered sugar or chocolate chips.

Vendor: Sweet Cheeks
Food: Deep-Fried Poptarts
Cost: $5.00 + Tax
Taste: This breakfast favorite has a strawberry filling, coated with frosting, and then battered and deep fried. Delicious and gooey, this is one treat you won’t regret in the morning.

Food: Deep-Fried Cinnamon Rolls With Icing
Cost: $5.00 + Tax
Taste: It’s bad enough we have Cinnabon stores selling their heart-clogging sweets. This takes it to a new level. I always wonder how people consume those giant buns. Now, this may not be the same size, but the fryer can be much of alternative. That’s why it shames me to say, “I’ll have seconds.”

Food: Deep-Fried Red Velvet Cake With Frosting
Cost: $7.00 + Tax
Taste: Red velvet cake is complex enough to make and get the flavor right, so most of the red velvet flavor is lost in the addition of deep frying it.

Vendor: Big Beef Rib Stand
Food: Big Beef Rib (24 oz. steak on 17 in. cow’s rib)
Cost: $16.95 + Tax
Taste: If you like big meat, this is for you. But, consider this. If the average 8 oz. steak is 400 calories, this one stick of meat will run you about 1600 calories. So you might want to get some help from friends on this one. Unless of course this is your only meal of the day, then you will still be 400 calories short of the average daily diet limit of 2000.

Vendor: Chocolate Covered Bacon Stands
Food: White Chocolate Bacon
Cost: $6.50 Tax Included
Taste: If you love chocolate covered bacon, then meet the sweeter side. I for one still think that the original rules supreme, but the change in flavor is nice.

Food: Chocolate Dipped Key Lime Pie
Cost: $6.00 Tax Included
Taste: It’s frozen key lime pie, dipped in chocolate. How else do you describe it?

Vendor: Funnel Cakes
Food: Red Velvet Funnel Cake
Cost: $6.00 + Tax
Taste: This is perhaps the most disappointing new addition to the list. I’m a baker, and red velvet cake lover. Any fan of red velvet will agree that this is no red velvet. This funnel cake is simply funnel cake batter dyed red and not red velvet batter. It is simply named as such to appeal to the fans of red velvet.

Vendor: Super Diner
Food: Deep-Fried Cheese Burger
Cost: $6.00 + Tax
Taste: This is perhaps the most disgusting sounding food on this year’s list. Yet, any fan of a greasy burger will be in for a treat. It’s fatty, oily, and for some reason ignites a bit of American patriotism with every bite. Oh, I should mention that it has no bun. So, that makes it low-carb, right?


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