By Mikhail Chernyavsky

If you smoke pot and like idiotic one-liners and phallic-driven jokes, then “The Watch” is the must-see film of the year!

After a Costco security guard is murdered and skinned, store manager Evan (Ben Stiller) creates a neighborhood watch group to find the killer.

Sadly, the scene leading up to the murder has some of the film’s most enjoyable moments, but that isn’t saying much for a film full of mediocre laughs.

Stiller is joined by Vince Vaughn (Bob), Jonah Hill (Franklin) and Richard Ayoade (Jamarcus) to solve the mystery of the Costco skinner. In fact, that probably would have been a much better film. Instead, the plot goes from a foursome of bumbling idiots solving a murder against all logic to an incredible suspension of belief of an alien invasion.

Seriously, this film would have been much more enjoyable if it were just about a neighborhood watch group.

The basic premise borders that of the British 2011 comedic film “Attack the Block” in which ordinary citizens fight off an alien invasion. The formula of the film is also reminiscent of 2008’s “Pineapple Express.” It starts off normal and takes a wild twist in plot and genre.

The reason for the familiarity is because “Express” writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg serve as co-writers for “Watch”. However, even though both films require cannabis use, “Watch” is far less entertaining for the clear-eyed viewers.

It comes off as a poorly directed Judd Apatow film mixed with the styling of Christopher Guest.

Just about every scene that involved any sort of banter felt like it was improvised with about 20 takes and then had the best one thrown into the film.

The cast essentially portrays characters of themselves or roles for which they are known.

Vaughn has his signature fast-paced rants throughout. Stiller is a slightly less awkward Greg Focker. However, Hill is a (tiny) hair different, playing a crazed man who still lives at home. Yet, I feel like his “Watch” character is an alternate future of his character from “21 Jump Street” if he didn’t get into the police academy.

Lastly, there is Ayoade. He is a British actor best know for playing Maurice Moss on “The IT Crowd.”

For those who haven’t seen this show (which is worth watching), his performance is the only refreshing part of “Watch”. However, for fans of the “Crowd”, he will essentially be playing the same character from the show, just a little less nerdy.

From the tired jokes surrounding male genitalia to refurbished premises, “The Watch” is not worth watching (if that made you grin in the slightest then just imagine doing that for 98 minutes and I will have saved you $20).


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