Today, Don starts by asking, “Is Craig OK?” Apparently his girlfriend Paris posted on Facebook that she was now “single,” and the guys ask what’s going on. After Craig explains he’s fine, and they’re working it out, Ron Ron and Sean are called in to discuss where they’re going today to give away Raiders tickets to this Saturday’s preseason game. They decide on the Bella Bru in Natomas, and Don sends them on their way. Don then tells us that yet another comedian – Wayne Brady, is apologizing for a joke he made. This time, it’s his “Trig Palin” joke from the Roseanne Roast. The guys also talk about the passing of Phyllis Diller, at 95, and Don calls Abe Vigoda, to ask him if he has any good memories of the late comedienne.
We then hear about a South Florida man who was arrested for disorderly conduct, named “Jackmeoff Mudd,” and Don’s visit to the 99 Cent Store over the weekend, where he met two teenagers who listen to the show.
The new Madden game comes out next week, but Don’s Madden ’12 game is busted, so he asks for a listener to bring down a Madden ’12 that he can borrow for the next week, until Madden ’13 comes out. Don then tells us that Jay Leno’s “Tonight Show” had to do some downsizing, and he plays a few clips from Jay’s monologue, in which he jokes about it. This gets Don into his “Dirty Jay” bit, in which he tells nasty jokes in his “Leno” voice.
After discussing the asinine “Illegitmate Rape” comments of Missouri Congressman Todd Akin, and playing a few Phyllis Diller clips, Sean and Ron Ron call in from the Bella Bru, and Don talks to the lucky listeners who have been given the free Raiders tickets. We then get a visit from comedian John Heffron. John, who is performing at the Punchline in San Francisco, gives us his opinions on comedians apologizing for their jokes, being on a radio show with Danny Bonaduce, Shrinky Dinks, Easy-Bake Ovens, and hot metal playground slides.
After John, the guys talk about the suicide of director Tony Scott, Don tells us that Rosie O’Donnell claims she had a heart attack last week, and was saved by Bayer aspirin We also hear that ex baseball player Jeff Kent will be on the new season of “Survivor.” We also hear a rough version of Steve’s new song about Craig and Paris, and the guys then call their favorite phone sex chat line, and sing the “Mr. Bucket” song in their best celebrity voices. Don then plays the idiotic comments of ESPN’s Skip Bayless, who claims that “black fans only root for black players, and whites only root for white players.”
It’s then time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Today, Phantom tells us that Kelly Ripa will announce her new permanent co-host on Sept. 4, and we also hear about a Brazilian man who was impaled by a metal beam while working construction. Phantom then gives us TV reminders for tonight, and gives us the box office ratings from last weekend. And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!