Don begins by telling us about how happy he is that the Packers won last night. He then tells us about the rattlesnake vaccination he got for his dog Oscar, and reads us a story about a woman who’s suing her trainer for masturbating on her feet during a massage. We then hear about the pigeon problem at the Denver Broncos’ stadium, and Don tells us why he’s absolutely useless around the house. He also tells s about the time he almost set his house on fire.
After Doni tells us why he is not getting the new iPhone, we hear about 18 JFK Airport employees who got caught stealing mini bottles of alcohol and bootlegging them. Seeing how this could easily be something Craig would try, Don calls the D.A. office in Queens, NY to have them talk some sense into Craig. We also see topless pics of Kate Middleton, hear outgoing voice messages by Arnold, and Kate Hudson on Ellen yesterday.
It’s then time for another visit from comedian JB Smoove. JB, who is calling from the set of the new HBO movie he’s in with Larry David, that he knows nothing about, is performing at Cobb’s Comedy Club in S.F. this weekend, and tells us about working with Larry, how rich Larry really is, and will there be a “Leon Black” spinoff? After JB, the guys play Don’s new game: “Wall of Abe,” and then we get a visit from Raider great, Fred Biletnikoff. Freddy B, who’s hosting Crab Fest on Nov. 2nd, talks about his days with those great Raider teams in the 70’s, how Coach Madden treated his players, the toughest defensive back he ever played, and how frustrating it is to watch the Raiders now! He also tells us which current players impress him the most, and which current quarterbacks he’d most like to play with.
After Little Joe reads his text conversation with Brian Baldinger (who was supposed to be on the show earlier), and Blind Neal calls in, it’s time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Among Phantom’s stories today: Jay Pharoah will be doing Pres. Obama on SNL this year, “America’s Got Talent’s” season finale last night, the most shocking celebrity headlines of the year, and the “Top 10 Toys of All Time.” And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!