Don begins the day with the ending of the car chase on Friday, in which the driver got out of his car and shot himself in the head. Don plays the clip from FOX News, and Shepherd Smith’s reaction. Don’s new couches have arrived, and after he tells us about spending his Saturday rearranging the furniture in his house, we hear about his friends Greg and Janet having him and his Janet over for dinner on Friday, and Steve tells Don that they had him and his wife Roseanne over on Saturday. This angers Don, as he feels Steve is invading on his friends. We also hear about a show Don saw over the weekend, called “Human Lampshade,” about the Nazis making lampshade out of the skin of Jews.
We then get a visit from CBS announcer and ex NFL player Daryl Johnston. “Moose,” who covered the 49ers/Jets game yesterday, tells us just how bad he thinks the Jets are, and just how good the Niners are. He also tells us how he got into broadcasting after retiring from the NFL, and who he thinks are the best teams in the NFC. Don then tells us about Jerry Seinfeld’s new web show, and plays a clip from his latest episode, with Michael Richards. After Don reads off a list of the largest penis sizes by country (U.S. is #96), we hear clips from Arnold’s appearance on 60 Minutes, and Sweaty Sean stops by to talk medical marijuana, and Don talks to Aaron Sandusky, who was recently arrested for selling marijuana legally through his dispensary. Aaron tells us he’s on house arrest, and just exactly what he’s being charged for, even thought all charges are legal in California. He also talks about the benefits of medical marijuana, and what can be done to fix the issue of the federal government intervening with state laws.
Don then pulls out a few Cosmo surveys, including “What To Do To A Naked Man,” and then shows the guys some granny porn, making all the guys sick, and causing Craig to dry heave. It’s then time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Today, Phantom tells us that divorce rates are higher when couple share the housework, the top 20 female badasses in film and TV, Seth MacFarlane will host the Oscars, and Bonnie and Clyde’s guns are sold for $200k. And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!