Don begins by telling us he’s lost 3 pounds since he started his diet last week, then tells us about the idiot lady at Raleys who locked her keys in her car and left the motor running. We then hear about Craig biting his tongue in his sleep, and an auto tuned “Swinging The Alphabet,” before we get a visit from former Buffalo Bills head coach Marv Levy. The 87 year old Marv, who is one of Don’s favorite coaches of all time, tells us about his philosophical approaches to coaching, what he would do if he was coaching the Saints or the Jets, how frustrating it is to watch the Bills this year, and just how hard it is to go to 4 straight Super Bowls. He also does a Phantom News intro!
After Don reads a list of rules that were issued to L.A. school teachers in 1915, we hear about a bar in Tokyo that is dedicated to masturbating women, and this gets the guys introduced to a few self-pleasuring products called the “Tenga Egg,” and the “Flesh Light.” After te guys watch a few videos on the products, were hear Nicki Minaj going off on Mariah Carey during an “American Idol” taping, and a few clips from the Presidential race, as well as clips of the “Butt Chugger” saying he didn’t really take a whole box of wine up his backside.
We then hear that Chris Brown and Rihanna got busy in a NYC night club bathroom last night, and Don calls the club to get details. We also hear about a French man who ate over 9 tons of metal in his lifetime, and died over the weekend. After hearing President Obama’s “2012 Campaign Playlist,” it’s time for the “Phantom News Hour. Today, Phantom gives us last week’s TV ratings, tells us about David Blaine’s new stunt, and a Nebraska man assaults his wife with a sandwich.