The day begins with Phantom’s trip to Safeway at 5 in the morning to buy reading glasses, and Don’s own “Storm Watch,” inspired by the extensive news coverage in Sacramento over the 3 inches of rain that fell yesterday. We then hear about Don’s trip to the Beach Hut Deli yesterday, in which an idiot who was taking up 3 parking spaces tried to start some static with the Don man. After an Angus T. Jones update, and an update on Dennis Hof’s Bunny Ranch Christmas contest, Don gives Abe Vigoda a call to talk about the passing of Larry Hagman, and we hear that Abe had cataracts surgery yesterday.

Don then calls the Morningside Church in Branson, MO to inquire about Jim Bakker’s new God Show on TV, and we hear a new song from Little Joe’s show prep site: a parody of Jethro Tull’s “Aqualung” about commute traffic. After hearing a few clips, including a guy who freaks out over a spider, and Gilbert Gottfried saying that Elmo touched him inappropriately, we get a visit from our old buddy, NFL great Joe Theismann. Joe gives his take on the Alex Smith/Colin Kaepernick QB situation in San Francisco, even relating his own experiences with Joe Gibbs. He also talks about Big Ben’s condition, and how great of a team the Houston Texans are. He also has a new play for Craig to draw up!

After two rounds of the “Match Game,” and we hear that the original Batmobile is up for sale, it’s time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Today, among the stories: Lindsay Lohan gets arrested for assault, Starbucks has a new $6 specialty drink, a Packers/Vikings funeral, and Mr. Skins’ “Top 10 Nude Scenes Of 2012.” And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!