For the average baseball fan going to the ballpark is a tradition like no other. Watching your favorite team play, drinking a beer, eating a hot dog and singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” is the Superfecta in baseball world.
But what about the other people that fill the stadium seats? You find yourself cheering on your favorite team with 40,000 other screaming fans, but have you ever stopped to look around and see who is sitting next to you? They always say sporting events make for great people watching so here is a look at the 12 people you will almost always see at a baseball game.
1. A Baby
It never fails, people. Never. There will always be one parental unit that brings a baby when it’s either way too cold or way too hot out and make the little creature sit in a BABYBJORN for 9 innings. Quite possibly on the borderline of child abuse.
2. The Kid High on Sugar
They had way too much cotton candy, popcorn, cracker jacks, and soda. If they don’t keep up the high, they crash and I mean they crash hard. You’ll hear screaming, see flying objects and tears streaming down at a rapid pace. Buckle up because you are in for a long and bumpy ride.
3. Obnoxious Drunk Guy
You know what I’m talking about. The guy who downed one too many Coors Lights and well the rest is pretty self explanatory. People are laughing AT HIM not with him but he doesn’t care because he is having more fun than you despite not knowing what’s going on in the game. Fun thing to try: ask him the score/inning …
4. The Foul Ball Fiend
The person who will hit, punch, smash, kill and give his left kidney to catch a foul ball. Kid, woman, dog? It doesn’t matter who the opponent is, someone is standing in the way and they are now an enemy. Hide ya wife, hide ya kids, and most importantly protect your beer because this could get ugly.
5. The Suit
The guy who either was taken by a client or took a client – aka a business outing. They either sit behind home plate or in the suites/luxury boxes. These kinds of people, my friends, are the very reason why ticket prices are so high. From one Bleacher Creature to another, say it loud and say it proud … #GoHomeSuits.
6. The Girl in “Pink”
Ok, she doesn’t have to be wearing pink but she’s the one taking pictures and texting on her phone and completely not paying attention to the game. She is only there for two reasons. 1) her partner/spouse/friend dragged her along 2) she wants to post pictures to her social media accounts and make her friends jealous.
7. The Veteran Score Keeper
The little cutie pie can often be seen keeping score on an official stat sheet, listening to the game on the radio through headphones while snacking on peanuts and soda. Befriend him/her mid-inning, you could learn a thing or two.
8. The Lifelong Devoted Fan
They breathe, sleep and eat based on their teams doings. They take the game way too seriously and are probably the people you hear and see crying after their team loses. They plan their whole week, day, month, and year around their teams schedule and truly believe they are the Number 1 fan.
9. The People On A Date
I’m not talking about a date night between a couple. I’m talking about the early on dates even the dreaded first date in which the twosome clearly aren’t paying attention to the game and are playing 21 questions and everybody in the stands can hear it. Go play “Soulmate or Stranger?” somewhere else.
10. The Fan Wearing Irrelevant Sporting/Team Attire
You know the guy who wears a Lakers jersey to a Dodger game? Or a a Phillies jersey to a New York Yankees-Arizona Diamondbacks game? Why is it so hard to wear the proper team attire? Cmon now! Get it together!
11. The Wave Starter
No. No. No. Just sit down. The wave is a sign of boredom. If you are bored at a baseball game than you need to get your head checked out. Period. End of story. Ban the Wave. #banthewave
12. The Streaker
Usually a 20-something goon who was dared to run out on the field with or without clothing. The result? Getting laid out and tackled, zip tied and kicked out of the game. Was it worth it? Probably not, but it makes for a hell of a good story.
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