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A Man Cave: The Downfall of Carmichael Dave’s Man Card

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Written by Dave’s wife Melissa

(Dave’s note: This is all dumb chick garbage. I’m a MAN dammit.)

Let me start out by saying that I am pro man cave. I think it is a good idea for men to have their own space where they can watch what they want and be able to invite their friends over without the embarrassing kids jumping around or the wife nagging to take out the trash. But when the man cave becomes more than an idea and is actually being built isn’t there a code of ethics so that the balance of manhood is not thrown off?

This weekend Dave asks me, “Can you help me with the man cave? I want to redo it.”

I say, “sure…no problem,” without thinking that helping meant – can I pretty much do the whole thing.

A little known fact about Dave – he is not handy whatsoever. He is good at cleaning, shopping for the necessary items, and pointing at what needs to be done.

And I ask who is the female in this relationship?

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Let me use an example.

Dave got a projector to watch TV. He tries to put the projector together and mount it without looking at the directions.

I get the whole “Real men don’t need directions” thing. But in order to use that statement shouldn’t you have at least some innate ability to put things together?

Not only did he mount a piece to the wall that was supposed to be connected to the projector and not the wall, but he also hammered in a screw into the wall when it wouldn’t screw into the wall the whole way.

Me Dave, hulk smash!

Then ensues the curse words and throwing of tools and then tap, tap on the shoulder. “Melissa, can you figure this out.”

Yes men, be ashamed of your fellow brethren.

Now if one woman helping building a man cave wasn’t bad enough, Dave made a cardinal sin in enlisting ANOTHER girl into the building mix.

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Although I must say Kayte Christensen is not only hot…she sure knows her way around some power tools (insert dirty man thoughts here).

If it wasn’t for her we would have never got done.

And yes Dave will try to make the excuse that he posts pictures on Facebook because he is awesome for having “two hot chicks” doing stuff for him, but do not let him fool you.

Men – Rise up and revoke Dave’s Man card. He is the linchpin of your demise.

Here is why:

Other wives will think it is okay to help build man caves.

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Once the man cave is built, the wives will think they have some sort of right or ownership of the man cave because they helped build it.

Pretty soon wives will overtake your man caves, kids will jump all over your friends and you are right back to where you started. Your friends won’t want to come over, and then they will start to just not invite you at all and before you know it you are labeled as the “family man,” who spends every waking minute with their family and secretly wants to bang his head against the wall (I get it. Wives and children are annoying at times).

So I guess the moral of the story is do NOT be Carmichael Dave. Do not let women build your man cave. Keep your man card intact.

Otherwise, send me your address and I will mail you a sign that I will be putting in Dave’s man cave.

Man cave: Thought up by a man, made by women – and then you can trade cooking recipes and give each other pedicures.

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