Carmichael Dave: FOOTBALL IS HERE FOOTY FOOT FOOTBALL YAY
Best time of the year.
ITS THE BEST TIME OF THE FREAKIN YEAR!
Its seems sooooo long ago that the stupid Seahawks beat the Broncos and won the title, but that’s all over with now. Everyone is in first place. Everyone is undefeated. Everyone is going to the Super Bowl.
Sunday Night Football.
Monday Night Football.
Its ok for grown men to wear their jerseys.
EVERYTHING IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD.
I love you Roger Goodell. You may be a recovering ginger, you may be power hungry, you may be misguided about violence on and off the field.
I love you Vernon Davis. You held out for 5 minutes from my beloved Niners, you cried in the arms of Mike Singletary, and you’re still lightning quick. Yes you’re weird and selfish, but FOOTBALL!!
I love you Khalil Mack. You are helping to provide hope, false or not, to Raider Nation, a nation as relevant over the last decade-plus as Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation. No fan base has been kicked around more than theirs, and no fanbase deserves redemption more than Raider Nation. FOOT-BALLL!
Ochocinco. Chad. Chaddy Chad Chadderton. The Chadster. I don’t know why I like your booking photo so much, and I can’t even remember why you were being booked. I don’t care. FOOTBALL!!
Suck it Lakers. Just cause. FOOTBALL
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for another sport, I can tell you I don’t care. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let me watch the game now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. FOOTBALL!!!
RAIIIIDERS. Right? RIIIIIGHT????
I love football season, if for no other reason to see these young ladies show their spirit in between studying and doing things in our community. FOOTBALL?
No clue. Pigskin? Yes. Pigskin. Pigskin=FOOTBALL
WOOF. WOOF. WOOFITTY WOOF BARK BARK AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBALL
Burning flesh over fire.
If you’ve read this far, congratulations. Odds are by now you bailed out somewhere between OchoCinco and the dog photo. But if you’re still around, its time for my BBQ rant for the year. Perhaps I will do this in a future column.
Notice the grill up there. Its a smoker. Smoked over actual wood.
If you use a gas grill, you might as well fry your food inside in the kitchen where you belong, Sally McSallypants.
Barbecue is done over wood or charcoal. No exceptions. The jury is still out about Traeger-style grills, but those still use wood (pellets). With real smoke.
I get that gas is convenient. I really do. But if convenience is what you’re looking for, get a Traeger, and get the best of both worlds. Its so good, its cheating. CHEATING I say.
If you have a gas grill, please call it grilling. Not barbecuing. You’re lying to yourself and others if you do.
I have to at some point stop writing this and posting pics. So let’s finish with a poll: