Watch Your Roosters

In Lompoc, it’s cock-a-doodle-oh-no-you-dont! Roosters are outlawed. (credit: CBS)

Dogs Can't Get Frisky

Don’t let Fido get frisky in Ventura County. He or she will get busted. Dogs and cats need a permit to, uh, get animal. (credit: CBS)

Do Not Lick A Toad

Like it or not, it’s the law. You cannot (underscore cannot) lick a toad anywhere in Los Angeles. And this is even if the toad is consenting and over 18. (credit: Frogwatch (North) via Getty Images)

Don't Belt Your Wife

Stay belted! Hard to believe, but it’s allegedly legal for a man to beat his wife in Los Angeles if he uses a belt less than 2 inches wide, and if she gives her consent. (credit: AP)

Don't Flip Your Lid

Apparently they’re trying to keep the lid on pollution in Dana Point. You can use your restroom, but close the window or else! (credit: AP)

Don't Kiss A Man With A Moustache

Who wouldn’t want to be kissed by mega hunk Tom Selleck? Well, if you live in Eureka watch those lips! Men with moustaches are simply not allowed to plant a wet one on a woman in Eureka. (credit: CBS)

Don't ZZZZzzzz In The Car

In Cathedral City, it’s illegal to sleep in a parked car. (credit: CBS)

Drop The Fish In Portola

Man walks into a bar. He says, “Hi, do you serve fish here?’ and the bartender says ‘Sure, sit down. We’ll serve anyone.’” As funny as that joke isn’t (sorry!), the truth is, it’s against the law to walk into a bar in Portola carrying a fish. (credit: AP)

Hide Those Buttocks!

And you wonder why J-Lo doesn’t do concerts in Hermosa Beach. It is illegal to show your buttocks on a playground in that city. (credit: CBS)

Keep The Pooch Off The Elevator

Dogs in wheelchairs are not as uncommon as you think. Many dogs are old, arthritic, and have hip problems. But you don’t want to bring an infirmed dog to Glendale. According to dumblaws.com, dogs are not allowed on elevators. So Bowser, get to stepping! (credit: AP)

Leave The Lizards Alone

Lizards don’t have a lot of rights, but in Fresno they enjoy major protection. Lizards cannot be annoyed while in city parks. So if you’re in the park minding your own business, and some lizard sits down with his boom box and starts blasting his music, the cops will take his side. (credit: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service)

Let Cowboys Be Cowboys

They don’t like city slickers in Blythe! If you don’t own at least two cows, you can do time for wearing cowboy boots. (credit: AP)

No Cursing On The Course

Talk about a golf handicap. In Long Beach, according to dumblaws.com, you are not allowed to curse or use foul language while playing miniature golf. Apparently, it’s okay to curse like a sailor while playing badminton or tennis. But curse while playing some #$%* miniature golf and find your #$%**#$ in hot water. (credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

No Nukes In Chino

Note to terrorists! Don’t go to Chino: detonating a nuclear device of any kind, within the city limits, will get you a $500 fine. (credit: AP)

Peacock's Have The Right Of Way

You drivers better slow down in Arcadia! According to dumblaws.com, peacocks there always have the right of way. (credit: CBS)

Pick Up That Dog Poo!

Scooby Doo! According to dumblaws.com, if you leave dog waste in your yard for more than seven days in Cerritos, you can be cited. Of course, we want to know how anyone knows what dog doo looks like on the eighth day? And, more interestingly, whose job is it to decide? (credit: K’shel Bell)

Prostitutes Don't Make Change

In San Francisco, hookers are not required to carry bills on their person larger than $50 in order to make change. (credit: AP)

Rhino's Can't Get Horny

Horny? Don’t be a rhino in California! According to a website that specializes in strange facts about sex, all animals are banned in the Golden State from mating within 1500 feet of a place of worship, school or tavern. Presumably they CAN drink at the tavern but they can’t get busy near the tavern. Ah, and speaking of rhinos, if you want to own one in Norco, you have to pony up $100 for the privilege. (credit: L.A. Zoo)

Slow It Down In Glendale

You’ll never be able to see the Glendale 500 at this rate. Indianapolis has nothing to worry about. It is illegal for someone in Glendale to jump into a moving or passing car. And according to dumblaws.com, it is also illegal to go in reverse. (credit: CBS)

Ugly People Stay Home

Ha! And they say people in LA can be shallow and obessed with looks! In San Francisco, it is actually illegal for ugly people to walk down the street. (credit: FreedomIsNotFree.com)