Crazy California Laws

In Lompoc, it’s cock-a-doodle-oh-no-you-dont! Roosters are outlawed. (credit: CBS)
Watch Your Roosters In Lompoc, it’s cock-a-doodle-oh-no-you-dont! Roosters are outlawed. (credit: CBS)
Don’t let Fido get frisky in Ventura County. He or she will get busted. Dogs and cats need a permit to, uh, get animal. (credit: CBS)
Dogs Can't Get Frisky Don’t let Fido get frisky in Ventura County. He or she will get busted. Dogs and cats need a permit to, uh, get animal. (credit: CBS)
Like it or not, it’s the law. You cannot (underscore cannot) lick a toad anywhere in Los Angeles. And this is even if the toad is consenting and over 18. (credit: Frogwatch (North) via Getty Images)
Do Not Lick A Toad Like it or not, it’s the law. You cannot (underscore cannot) lick a toad anywhere in Los Angeles. And this is even if the toad is consenting and over 18. (credit: Frogwatch (North) via Getty Images)
Stay belted! Hard to believe, but it’s allegedly legal for a man to beat his wife in Los Angeles if he uses a belt less than 2 inches wide, and if she gives her consent. (credit: AP)
Don't Belt Your Wife Stay belted! Hard to believe, but it’s allegedly legal for a man to beat his wife in Los Angeles if he uses a belt less than 2 inches wide, and if she gives her consent. (credit: AP)
Apparently they’re trying to keep the lid on pollution in Dana Point. You can use your restroom, but close the window or else! (credit: AP)
Don't Flip Your Lid Apparently they’re trying to keep the lid on pollution in Dana Point. You can use your restroom, but close the window or else! (credit: AP)
Who wouldn’t want to be kissed by mega hunk Tom Selleck? Well, if you live in Eureka watch those lips! Men with moustaches are simply not allowed to plant a wet one on a woman in Eureka. (credit: CBS)
Don't Kiss A Man With A Moustache Who wouldn’t want to be kissed by mega hunk Tom Selleck? Well, if you live in Eureka watch those lips! Men with moustaches are simply not allowed to plant a wet one on a woman in Eureka. (credit: CBS)
In Cathedral City, it’s illegal to sleep in a parked car. (credit: CBS)
Don't ZZZZzzzz In The Car In Cathedral City, it’s illegal to sleep in a parked car. (credit: CBS)
Man walks into a bar. He says, “Hi, do you serve fish here?’ and the bartender says ‘Sure, sit down. We’ll serve anyone.’” As funny as that joke isn’t (sorry!), the truth is, it’s against the law to walk into a bar in Portola carrying a fish. (credit: AP)
Drop The Fish In Portola Man walks into a bar. He says, “Hi, do you serve fish here?’ and the bartender says ‘Sure, sit down. We’ll serve anyone.’” As funny as that joke isn’t (sorry!), the truth is, it’s against the law to walk into a bar in Portola carrying a fish. (credit: AP)
And you wonder why J-Lo doesn’t do concerts in Hermosa Beach. It is illegal to show your buttocks on a playground in that city. (credit: CBS)
Hide Those Buttocks! And you wonder why J-Lo doesn’t do concerts in Hermosa Beach. It is illegal to show your buttocks on a playground in that city. (credit: CBS)
Dogs in wheelchairs are not as uncommon as you think. Many dogs are old, arthritic, and have hip problems. But you don’t want to bring an infirmed dog to Glendale. According to dumblaws.com, dogs are not allowed on elevators. So Bowser, get to stepping! (credit: AP)
Keep The Pooch Off The Elevator Dogs in wheelchairs are not as uncommon as you think. Many dogs are old, arthritic, and have hip problems. But you don’t want to bring an infirmed dog to Glendale. According to dumblaws.com, dogs are not allowed on elevators. So Bowser, get to stepping! (credit: AP)
Lizards don’t have a lot of rights, but in Fresno they enjoy major protection. Lizards cannot be annoyed while in city parks. So if you’re in the park minding your own business, and some lizard sits down with his boom box and starts blasting his music, the cops will take his side. (credit: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service)
Leave The Lizards Alone Lizards don’t have a lot of rights, but in Fresno they enjoy major protection. Lizards cannot be annoyed while in city parks. So if you’re in the park minding your own business, and some lizard sits down with his boom box and starts blasting his music, the cops will take his side. (credit: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service)
They don’t like city slickers in Blythe! If you don’t own at least two cows, you can do time for wearing cowboy boots. (credit: AP)
Let Cowboys Be Cowboys They don’t like city slickers in Blythe! If you don’t own at least two cows, you can do time for wearing cowboy boots. (credit: AP)
Talk about a golf handicap. In Long Beach, according to dumblaws.com, you are not allowed to curse or use foul language while playing miniature golf. Apparently, it’s okay to curse like a sailor while playing badminton or tennis. But curse while playing some #$%* miniature golf and find your #$%**#$ in hot water. (credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
No Cursing On The Course Talk about a golf handicap. In Long Beach, according to dumblaws.com, you are not allowed to curse or use foul language while playing miniature golf. Apparently, it’s okay to curse like a sailor while playing badminton or tennis. But curse while playing some #$%* miniature golf and find your #$%**#$ in hot water. (credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Note to terrorists! Don’t go to Chino: detonating a nuclear device of any kind, within the city limits, will get you a $500 fine. (credit: AP)
No Nukes In Chino Note to terrorists! Don’t go to Chino: detonating a nuclear device of any kind, within the city limits, will get you a $500 fine. (credit: AP)
You drivers better slow down in Arcadia! According to dumblaws.com, peacocks there always have the right of way. (credit: CBS)
Peacock's Have The Right Of Way You drivers better slow down in Arcadia! According to dumblaws.com, peacocks there always have the right of way. (credit: CBS)
Scooby Doo! According to dumblaws.com, if you leave dog waste in your yard for more than seven days in Cerritos, you can be cited. Of course, we want to know how anyone knows what dog doo looks like on the eighth day? And, more interestingly, whose job is it to decide? (credit: K’shel Bell)
Pick Up That Dog Poo! Scooby Doo! According to dumblaws.com, if you leave dog waste in your yard for more than seven days in Cerritos, you can be cited. Of course, we want to know how anyone knows what dog doo looks like on the eighth day? And, more interestingly, whose job is it to decide? (credit: K’shel Bell)
In San Francisco, hookers are not required to carry bills on their person larger than $50 in order to make change. (credit: AP)
Prostitutes Don't Make Change In San Francisco, hookers are not required to carry bills on their person larger than $50 in order to make change. (credit: AP)
Horny? Don’t be a rhino in California! According to a website that specializes in strange facts about sex, all animals are banned in the Golden State from mating within 1500 feet of a place of worship, school or tavern. Presumably they CAN drink at the tavern but they can’t get busy near the tavern. Ah, and speaking of rhinos, if you want to own one in Norco, you have to pony up $100 for the privilege. (credit: L.A. Zoo)
Rhino's Can't Get Horny Horny? Don’t be a rhino in California! According to a website that specializes in strange facts about sex, all animals are banned in the Golden State from mating within 1500 feet of a place of worship, school or tavern. Presumably they CAN drink at the tavern but they can’t get busy near the tavern. Ah, and speaking of rhinos, if you want to own one in Norco, you have to pony up $100 for the privilege. (credit: L.A. Zoo)
You’ll never be able to see the Glendale 500 at this rate. Indianapolis has nothing to worry about. It is illegal for someone in Glendale to jump into a moving or passing car. And according to dumblaws.com, it is also illegal to go in reverse. (credit: CBS)
Slow It Down In Glendale You’ll never be able to see the Glendale 500 at this rate. Indianapolis has nothing to worry about. It is illegal for someone in Glendale to jump into a moving or passing car. And according to dumblaws.com, it is also illegal to go in reverse. (credit: CBS)
Ha! And they say people in LA can be shallow and obessed with looks! In San Francisco, it is actually illegal for ugly people to walk down the street. (credit: FreedomIsNotFree.com)
Ugly People Stay Home Ha! And they say people in LA can be shallow and obessed with looks! In San Francisco, it is actually illegal for ugly people to walk down the street. (credit: FreedomIsNotFree.com)

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One Comment

  1. Robert says:

    Only in Ca. The land of the fruits and nuts.

  2. Edddddy says:

    For CA. that is normal.

  3. B-4-Reality says:

    I had to leave California — to many wingnuts! But, hey I’m in Illinois now – and their are too many unions!

    1. LLD says:

      Unions: good. People who can’t spell: bad. Good riddance!

  4. BillinCA says:

    Every state in the union has dumb laws on their books, so it’s not a California thing. Every law has a reason, even though, they sound dumb on the surface. If I remember correctly, licking a toad law is due to the toad’s “slime” acts like a drug, I could be wrong though. But, I do have to admit, the above laws sound pretty bad and dumb.

  5. Wendy 707 says:

    What wife would give her consent to be beaten with a belt????? crazy!

    1. Seymour Butts says:

      Wendy, don’t you like a good spanking every now and then?? 😉

  6. phatboy says:

    Make it hurt so good baby!!!

  7. Janice says:

    It’s not CHINO. It’s CHICO!!! Get it right. Sheesh..

    1. Bryan says:

      Chico is in northern CA, Chino is in southern. Get it right. Sheesh.

  8. deanna says:

    some of these are practical but most r just too obsurd. how long have these all been on the books. How do we get them changed?

  9. farquar says:

    Not sleeping in a car in Cathedral city probably saves lives, I mean do you realize how hot it gets out in that area?

  10. LawAbidingCitizen says:

    Some people should have to have a permit to get animal….lmao!

  11. Millicent Bulstrode says:

    Do you want people showing their butts at play grounds? Do you want to sit in a bar with everybody who just got back from the lake bringing their stringer of fish in when they come in for a beer. Portola is a little town with lots of fishing. Some cities don’t want more unwanted dogs and cats being born and ending up at the animal shelter. I can’t even read the rest of your lame list.

  12. Janice says:

    #14. It’s CHICO, not Chino. Do your homework. Get it right. Sheesh..

  13. Jim Duncan says:

    If you have ever lived next door to a rooster in town that start crowing at 3-4 in the morning you would under stand why they ar illegal inside many towns. Murder prevention for both the rooster and owner. I’d have to ki.. both of them.

  14. Sid says:

    When all you have to fix problems in California is the legislature every solution is a law.

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