TALE OF THE TAPE

Sports

  1. OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 23: Terrelle Pryor #2 of the Oakland Raiders drops back to pass in the second quarter against the Chicago Bears at O.co Coliseum on August 23, 2013 in Oakland, California. PITTSBURGH, PA - AUGUST 24: Alex Smith #11 of the Kansas City Chiefs warms up prior to the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on August 24, 2013 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
    Tale Of The Tape: Oakland Raiders At Kansas City Chiefs

    The Raiders have had serious needs at the quarterback position for years, and while Terrelle Pryor may not be the ultimate answer, he is a credible athlete who can play the game well enough to keep the Raiders competitive.

  2. Philadelphia Eagles v Denver Broncos Gaming fans sample EA Sports Madden NFL
    More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

    The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?

  3. San Francisco 49ers v San Diego Chargers Washington Redskins v Oakland Raiders
    Tale Of The Tape: San Diego Chargers At Oakland Raiders

    Philip Rivers is in the midst of a sensational year, but few are noticing because of Peyton Manning’s record-setting start.

  4. New Orleans Saints v Houston Texans San Francisco 49ers v St Louis Rams
    Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At San Francisco 49ers

    Matt Schaub is struggling this season and he has already thrown three interceptions that have been returned for touchdowns.

  5. elicredit2.jpg boxingcredit2.jpg
    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

  6. natecredit1.jpg digiornocredit1.jpg
    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.