TALE OF THE TAPE

Which Is Worse For Wisconsin: Aaron Rodgers’ Shoulder Injury Or A Cheese Shortage?

The entirety of Wisconsin clenched their one remaining good artery last week as Aaron Rodgers went down with a collarbone injury. According to some sources, he suffered from a “discount crumble neck,” eh? Eh? No? Ok, moving on.

Anyway, the Green Bay faithful are concerned. But what would cause a Wisconsinite to be more concerned – the Rodgers injury, or a statewide cheese shortage? Let’s go to the tape.

Aaron Rodgers' Injury
Cheese Shortage
(credit: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
(credit: Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
(credit: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
(credit: Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
Ramifications?
Winner While the Packers are in a three-way tie for first in the NFC North at 5-3. If they go on a skid, their playoff potential could be in danger. Without home playoff games, Green Bay stands to lose out on money, merchandise sales, etc.
Without cheese, 90% of Wisconsin’s caloric consumption would be gone in a second. This would ultimately be good for the health of Packer fans.
Backup Plan?
Winner Seneca Wallace, who still plays, apparently.
Sausage and beer.
Reaction Upon First Finding Out?
“GLURK!”
Winner “HURRRG!”
Impact On Headwear?
None? No impact?
Winner Packer cheese heads would no longer be en vogue.
Financial Impact?
According to TheirNetWorth.com, Aaron Rodgers is worth $95 million.
Winner According to a Review of Wiconsin's Dairy Industry, Wisconsin cheese brings in $26.5 billion in revenue.

The Winner Is

(credit: Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
Winner Cheese Shortage
3 out of 5

The winner: CHEESE! Cheese is a bigger concern to Wisconsin citizens by a score of 3-2. So next time you’re biting into a big block of cheddar, make sure to thank your lucky stars that the Wisconsin cheese industry is healthy and robust.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 16: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots reacts after throwing a touchdown pass during the fourth quarter against the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium on October 16, 2014 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Airdancer
    Tom Brady Vs. An Airdancer, Who Is Floppier?

    Tom Brady seemed to flop in a recent Pats-Jets game. How does he stand up to one of those inflatable things you see outside of car dealers?

  2. DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 19: Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 of the Denver Broncos drops back to throw on what would be his 509th career touchdown pass in the second quarter of a game against the San Francisco 49ers at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on October 19, 2014 in Denver, Colorado. HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 02: Actor Matthew McConaughey poses in the press room during the Oscars at Loews Hollywood Hotel on March 2, 2014 in Hollywood, California.
    Peyton Manning’s TD Record Or Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar More Expected?

    Peyton Manning broke the career TD record. Everyone knew it was coming. But was it as expected as Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar?

  3. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Pittsburgh Steelers

    The Texans have been pushing hard in recent weeks and nearly got the best of the Cowboys and the Colts, but they couldn’t get past either one.

See All Tales of the Tape