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College Football Weekly Q&A: Tongue-In-Cheek Bowl Guide

This year there is a bumper crop of bowl games, from the Cotton Bowl to the lesser known "Sticky Change In The Bottom Of Your Car's Ash Tray Bowl" when you add up all the bowls plus the added three for the championship, you get a grand total of 42 games. One couldn't possibly watch ALL of them, so how do you pick the ones to watch? Here is Cody Stark's guide to college bowl season.

Q: OK, smart guy, how many bowl games have you watched so far?

A: Um, 6…OK, parts of 2…well, parts of  2, but I was also Netflixin' and Chillin' and wasn't paying close attention, so let's say 0.3.

Q: Say, if you were actually going to pay attention, what is the best way to choose what games to watch?

A: Lets first kick out games to ignore. I'm terrible at math, so I avoid any bowl game named after a financial institution or tax adjuster. Sorry, "San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl" "NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl" "Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl" "National Funding Holiday Bowl" and the "TaxSlayer Bowl." Plus, I'm even worse at car maintenance than I am math, so the "AutoNation Cure Bowl" "R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl" "Hyundai Sun Bowl" "AutoZone Liberty Bowl" are out! See this is already freeing up a lot of time!

Q: What's next?

A: Although it turned out to be a wild game (LSU beat Texas Tech 56 to 27), anything called the "AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl" is a tough sell. It sounds too much like a doctor's visit, which is precisely where the Red Raider defense visited after Leornard Fournette ran over them for 5 touchdowns

Q: More advice?

A: Multitasking at this point is key, so it would be really handy if they squished myriad of food-related bowls into one giant buffet: PeachFamousIdahoPotatoPopeyesZaxby'sFosterFarmChick-fil-ASugarOrangeBuffaloWildWingsOutback Bowl. This would set up a great marketing opportunity for an antacid sponsorship! Call me Bromo!

Q: Sounds like you are just making excuses for not watching. Are ou actually taking in any of the games?

A: Of course! The College Football Playoff Semifinals and the National Championship Game as well. And, of course, one can't miss the BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl. The matchup is pretty good (Notre Dame vs Ohio State). But most importantly, I'm watching to find out what a BattleFrog is. Are frogs now arming themselves? If so, who are they battling against? This is must-watch.

Q: You know, you could have just said you were watching the championship bowls and the Battlefrog and saved us a lot of time.

A: Word count, baby. Word count.

Cody is an anchor/reporter on Good Day Sacramento and college football expert. 

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