ALL the most super important facts and stuff

As I watch the Kings down 26 to the Celtics with 7 minutes left in the 4th, I thought it would be a perfect time to write about them because hey- they are sucking pretty bad.  In fact, they suck so bad I attached a video of puppies falling down stairs. Not only is it funny, but its pretty much a good description of how the Kings have looked this year (and is infinitely more entertaining than anything I’m writing here).

Just some observations from the first few games, maybe not all of them true:

-Going into this 4th quarter, the Kings had failed to break 20 points in 13 of 31 quarters played this year. That’s just bad.

-Vince Carter has over twice as many fouls and turnovers as field goals made. I don’t think that’s very good

-Dave Joerger is 1-7 since he underwent an offseason makeover and looks like Brad Pitt’s younger brother. Maybe mix in a twix bar and a beard, coach.

-Buddy Hield is shooting 35% from the field and 22% from behind the arc. That’s a lot like Steph, if Steph was wearing dual eye patches

-Malachi Richardson is shooting better from 3 (33%), than he is from 2 (27%). Baxter, I’m not even mad. That’s kind of impressive.

-My son asked me yesterday during the Pacers game “Daddy why do the Kings always suck? Its kind of dumb.” I just looked at him and smiled, before punting him across the kitchen floor. Get used to it, son.

-The Seattle Supersonics have won 1 less game this year than the Kings.

-The Kings are 1-7 since Kayte dyed her hair super brown. Connection? Probably not but hey

-If every team the Kings played had to play in Uggs, what would their record be over an 82 game season?

-Since February 23rd of last year, the Kings have won 4 games at Golden 1 Center

-Geoff Petrie really, REALLY wanted to work out Giannis Antetokounmpo

-I’m actually depressing myself more writing this

-The fact that Golden 1 added do it yourself movie theater butter this year helps, but we need more

-The Kings most likely record after 14 games is 2-12

-This is truly what a rebuild looks/feels like. When we win the championship, remember this season. I love you all.


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