Don begins with a book he got from a listener, that was actually written by the listener. In the book, entitled “Random,” each page consists of a random thought that the author wrote down. Don then talks with Little Joe about Billy/Danny’s breakup with his girlfriend, and the nasty text messages she’s been sending him. Don also tells us about a comedian named Matt Fisher, who’s sister was killed in a car accident, and how Progressive Insurance is trying so hard to avoid paying out his family, that they even had their lawyers take the side of the other driver, who was at fault. The guys talk about how much of a racket insurance companies are, and how disgusting these lengths are that Progressive has gone to. Don then calls “Michael,” the author of “Random,” to discuss his book.
After the guys look at Beyonce’s mustache online, Don show us an ad for a product called “Nads,” which is put on a woman’s face to remove unwanted facial hair. Don then plays ads from a diet candy from the 80′s called “Ayds,” which the guys find hilarious. We then see a video that Don has found: a German educational video on “How To Hide A Boner.” After Don calls his brother Jim, to ask him if he remembers scoring a touchdown in high school football, we hear a couple clips from “The Who,” and their performance at the Olympics closing ceremony, which leads the guys into a discussion of the greatest rock n’ roll front men of all time.
The guys then play a round of “Guess The Whoopie.” This time, Don has the guys give him phone numbers of their own relatives, and try to guess the last time they’ve had sex. Little Joe’s dad tells us that he actually got it on this morning, while Craig’s Grandma Bev says she hasn’t for 20 years. She does tell Don, however, that she has pleasured herself in the past week, leading Craig to begin vomiting into the trash can live on the air! After we hear a few more clips, including a dingbat stewardess who gets weird on the P.A., the 911 call from Chad Johnson’s neighbor, and a girl who gets her sphincter tattooed, it’s time for the “Phantom News Hour.” Today, Phantom tells us that Ron Palillo (“Horshack” from “Welcome Back Kotter,”) has passed away at the age of 63, a Boy Scout troop leader who was attacked by a rabid beaver, the TV ratings from last week, and Miley Cyrus will be on the new season of 2 And A Half Men, as Angus T. Jones’ love interest. And of course, Don wraps everything up with a caller 100!