Carmichael Dave: Kings Lose To Dallas By Some Dumb Score
So the first quarter was rad.
The Kings came out and punched everyone in the face. Hard. Cousins made a basket and so did Rudy. Then Ramon Sessions hopped off a milk carton and did awesome things. Jason Thompson played defense and yelled and some young Mavs fans got scared. Mark Cuban and that FUBU guy got together and tried to bid on the Kings' radness, offering his leadership and some Funyuns for a 10% stake in Sacramento Proud. He was denied. 34-14 after 1.
At this point life was good. I kissed my wife and read my kids a story. I pet my dog. I started planning championship parade routes with fans and began thinking of a #HereWeRing campaign.
Then the 2nd quarter happened. Dallas made a basket and then another one. Then the Kings made a basket and turned the ball over. Then the refs started calling fouls on everyone including Jerry West who was simply in the 4th row and quietly eating twizzlers. But he smacked his gums loud and that bothered the muscular ref that Grant likes so he T'd him up. Then the Kings turned the ball over again and the Mavs made a few baskets and uh oh what the heck.
48-37 Kings at the half breathe Dave you're going to die if you don't breathe.
Halftime. My daughter read me some dumb ass story that was dumb and my kid showed me some picture that he drew that was stupid and my dog wanted to be pet but she can eat one. I don't know where my wife is and I don't care.
Dirk Nowitzki made a basket and apparently cured Ebola because everyone cheered and he moved up on some dumb list and I don't care because the Kings can't shoot and I'm starting to cut myself with a wire hanger.
Oops, Dallas took the lead. I hate the world and probably the universe.
78-72 DALLAS ARRGGHGHH
4th quarter: I'm having trouble seeing out of my right eye. Apparently the Kings got on the charter to Memphis an hour ago and now that fat bald guy from Shark Tank is making fun of Cuban for trying to make poor investments. A month ago I wouldn't have blinked twice but a 5-1 start and a 24 point lead on the road got me going. It's like if you're single and never ask anyone out you don't feel the pain of rejection and you can always tell yourself you weren't really trying anyway. But if you put forth an effort and get rejected, then you're a loser and should eat radiator fluid. That's how I feel.
Final score? I don't care. I just glanced up out of my one good eye and see Dallas is up 106-96. I'm going to tell myself that this is a lesson game that the team will benefit from down the road and they're still above .500 so we are playing with HOLY GOD RAMON SESSIONS JUST KILLED A SQUIRREL WITH AN ERRANT JUMPER so hopefully things will get better.
Taylor Swift is stupid.
I believe in this team. I'm trying. Ups and downs. I'm mad, which must mean I care, which must mean I believe.
My wife is now upstairs watching Castle. I don't know what it's about and don't care. But that cop chick is hot so I think I'm going to go pick a fight by ogling her and talking about how neat her hair is. It's how I cope.
See you in Memphis.
